2004-12-08 - 2:08 AM
I challenged God
And He proved that He exists
But even with this knowledge
This sickness still persists
And now I really wish
That I never did believe
So I could end this torment, slit my my wrists
And just BLEED.. bleed
Every time I fuck myself up
I know that He can tell
And it makes me feel like a failure
Since I'm one step closer to Hell
I had my plans
The date was set
I was ready to leave
With no regrets
I had the drinks
The perfect blade
It was the best decision
I ever made
I still want to cut
Cuz I'm still dead inside
But God is there, so now I'm trapped
Cuz I know I'm fucked with suicide
I smoke, cut, and huff
And drink 'till I black out
I fucking hate this life
And I still want out
Yet I still pray
With my last shreds of hope
That God will erase my past
Or at least help me cope
Cuz with everything I've gone through
It's not enough to just have faith
I still can't stop this self-destruction
I need Your intervention to keep me safe
Please take me away from this horrible place
Help me to finally win this race
Save me with Your grace
Please..
