2006-02-07 - 2:30 AM
I've been waiting real long for this time
And now that it’s come, I'm terrified
Shed this skin.. I want to, I must!
But I refuse, cuz distance is safer than trust
I never thought that I’d regain feeling
And happiness is rather warm and healing
But feeling everything means happiness AND pain
And I’d rather feel nothing than go through that again
But there’s something out there that I want, that I need
And I have to step out to reach it, to plant a new seed
So all the pain that tried to kill me the past 5 years
And all the reasons I fought it to bring me right here
Are facing off for the final fight
Do I hide in the dark, or step out in the light?
*This is seriously the hardest choice I'll probably ever have to make. Deciding whether to kill myself or not is easy.. gets easier everytime u have to do it, lol. But seriously, this is gonna b hard and one that I have to make on my own. And it could change a lot of things in a big way. It could also crush me again, and that's something I really don't want to deal with. I suppose every1 in my general situation has come or will come to this at some point. Good luck to any1 who's there, too.*
